My husband and I have been married since 2009, we are blessed with four young children, and are so thankful for our strong and happy marriage. Still, all of the demands of daily life—our kids’ needs, school homework, appointments, and work—can be a challenge to us, playing out especially within our marriage. Over the years, it has been tough to plan time for just the two us. Either there are too many things going on, one of our kids gets sick, the babysitter needs to cancel at the last minute, or we are just exhausted…just to name a few.
Without investing time into our marriage, the day-to-day can wedge a kind of distance between my husband and I. I start to depend on myself, feeling like a hamster running around it’s wheel, and my thoughts start to wander into the things my husband could have done better to help me. Without God’s Word, these thoughts would fester and take hold of me—but Jesus is always faithful in reminding me that I first need His help, and need to pray for my husband, before running towards criticism. This is not always easy.
Over time, I have been able to speak to a few wives and mothers in the church about this. It is so easy to relate to each others’ joyful parts of marriage, but also the tough ones. I noticed that I am not alone in my feelings, thoughts, and struggles. And this brought me to the question, “how can we invite the strength and fullness that Jesus wants us to claim in our marriages?” Certainly we can turn to marriage counselling and books on marriage to find helpful and useful advice, but God put this specific verse on my heart:
Titus 2:4
“Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, …”
Similar to the time we spend praying for our children, the time spent praying for our husbands strengthens us, and we experience God moving and working. So we can be praying for our husbands! Prayer is such an important part of our love for them. That’s why our Wives in Prayer Group meets every two weeks for an hour, to pray for our husbands. We pray strategically “from head to toe” for our men, and we take time to worship God, confess our sins, and to thank Him for all the blessings and answered prayer.
Through these times of prayer, we experience Him speaking to us as wives, in encouragement and correction. God gives us His viewpoint on our marriages through His Word, gives us renewed and fresh perspectives, allows us to change, and reminds us of the ultimate goal of all Christ-centered marriages. Praying the scriptures for our husbands shapes our perspective and our prayers, it opens up our ‘prayer horizon’ as we don’t just pray for the pressing things on our minds, but focus our prayers on spiritual truths, godly characteristics, God’s vision, and marital growth.
- Cor 10:4 “ The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.”
We are called to fight side-by-side with our husbands. Our men need our prayers and our support! We need to be aware that prayer is not there to attempt to transform our husbands to take on characteristics we desire. Through prayer, we release our will, and ask God to shape them after His own heart, and in His will.
If you desire more of God in your marriage, and spiritual growth for yourself and your husband…if you crave more spiritual intimacy with your husband, a deeper friendship, or healing from any relational hurts, then I encourage you to be praying for your husband through God’s Word. As it helps me, perhaps it would also help you to pray for your marriage together with other women. Prayer will cost you time and energy, but it is a beautiful investment, and also a great privilege.
Prayer is valuable, because God is faithful. He answers all of our prayers, and wants to bring our marriages to their fullest, and use them through His Holy Spirit. It isn’t just an enrichment within our relationship, but will trickle into each area—towards our children, and towards the world around us.
-Anja
